How I fell in love ...

Not with someone (unfortunately, :p) but with what. I finally found something that really interests me, something that will not disappoint me or rather hurt me or break my heart. I'm talking about running. When I told my close fams & friends that I'm in love with running, well, they said I'm crazy. Haha. Given that, I was soo lazy n I never has any interest on any of it b4, i think they were bit suprised. Well, i surprised myself too. But I'm proud to say that I'm addicted to running.

What started as a training for the marathon, it's now become daily activity for me. I now run regularly. From Mon-Sat. I've tried to not overdo it, I even restrained myself from running on Sunday. Haha. Everyday, from the moment I wake up, the 1st thing I wana do is to run. It's kinda dissapointing that I wasnt able to run in the mornings due to work but I still got my evening. Everyday, I got thru the day by keeping in mind, hey.. ur running at 5-ish in the evening. So that got me motivated. When the clocks strikes 2pm, I begin counting the hours. I begin thinking how many miles I shud do 2dy. It began so important to me that during weekends, when I'm not at work, I got this itch. An itch to run. But this thing just got started during my 1st mth of training for the marathon. For the 1st few weeks, I kinda drag myself to run. As time goes by, wen it actually became routine or a must for training, I was beginning to be obsessed by it.

The one time when it actually hit me that I was crazy about going running, was when the weather was gloomy, that day, I was sure it will rained anytime but I said, b4 it rains, I better run. Which in 15 mins time, it did rained. Heavily. But I was there already, so I just keep on running. But the feeling at that time was so amazingly awesome. I felt so alive. I felt calm & peace. Turns out, there were other people who was running in the rain too. Or rather running with the rain. Hehe. See, I'm not that crazy after all. Nywz, after dat day, I look more forward to my running. 3 weeks later, I caught a flu & my coughs were getting bad. But that didnt stop me. I kept on running until the day of the marathon came. For the 1st time, I was excited for it. Eventho' this was my 3rd year joining the marathon. The 1st & 2nd year was an-have-to-join as an excuse to exercise & to lose weight. It was entirely different this year, well, I still did it to lose weight but this year, I want to be able to really do this. And I did it. My time improved, a lot, in fact, compare to last year & I managed to run without stopping for a full 10km, which is quite an accomplishment for a non-althlete-couch-potato like me. Haha :p

A day after the marathon, I was asked to not run but I was acting anxiously crazy, I couldnt sit still since all I wana do was run. The next day, I was all geared up to run, drove to the park & then the most uncool thing happened. It rained. So damn bad that I couldnt even see nything. I was devastated. I told myself, I love running but I need to love myself more & dat I need to take care of myself. So, I skipped that day. And waiting for the next day was an agony. I keep praying that it wudnt rained. And it didnt. I was smiling & feeling happy all day like I was goin out on a date. Haha.

So, it's been 2 weeks since the marathon & I'm still running. Everyday. For me, running is like a ME time. Only me. Me against the world. It's only me, my music, my mind against the time. The feeling of the wind goin thru ur face & the sweats running down thru makes me feel alive. The feeling after a run was/is indescribable.

Losing weight for me is a struggle. Everyday, I need the strength, will power & motivation to drive me thru each day. I'm constantly reminding myself the reason I need to do this. My journey started since September last year until now, been like 8 mths now, 8 mths of no rice, no sushi, no good reataurant food, no good home cooked meal but I do still indulge on sinful foods but in a very very small quantity. Looking back, I'm pretty amazed at what I've achieved so far. But the pain, the struggles.. no one will know or understand what u've been thru. I've been fat all of my life and I'm getting tired of it. The saying, "Ur beautiful no matter what" THAT is crap. People will not accept for who u are if ur fat or ugly. People will call u names, treat you differently if ur ugly. And it hurts. So bad. But in time, u will learned how to deal with it. Maturely. And I learned that, no matter what, fat or thin is a choice. It is up to u. Good food is everywhere. We need good food to enjoy life. But don't let that ruined ur health and ur life. It's my fault that I choose to be fat. And now it's my choice to lose that fat. I'm sharing this as a constant reminder for myself as well as for those who are trying lose weight. Without dieting & an extensive amount of exercise, nothing will happen. No miracle pills. And there is no shortcuts but only hardwork. It's hard but not impossible. Like me, I'm still struggling to lose another 10-13kg but instead of to be thin, I choose to lose weight & be fit, and I choose to do it with running, weighting lifts & sometimes my Elliptical Trainer etc. When ur exercising or need to work out, try find something that u love to do and work on that gradually. Yes, most people, hates exercise or working out but when it becomes a daily routine, a practice, then it will never be a problem. But remember, lose weight the healthy way and don't force urself. Instead, take care & love urself more. I'm eating regularly (xcept for dinner) and in a small quantity even tho' I do get scared when looking at good food or when I was invited to a party, but I do try to disciplined in eating in a small portion, just to have a taste on it. yes, will power is needed but when u set ur mind on something, it's so awesome that u will be amazed at what u'll accomplish.

So, I still need all the support I can get. And I love u all who've been so supportive with me all the way & up till now. I love you y'all!